Total Everything…


You were supposed to be a ripple in my ocean
not a storm that’ll change my core
A short-termed from of Loving devotion
Not fill my entire future with just your words.

I have been called a cheater
and a fucking liar
They said they got ruined by me
and I got blamed that I am a destroyer

I have been used
I have been lost
but nobody is ever searching for me
I wont ever have the feeling of being found

I loved my solitude
my broken, parasytic heart
It used to feed on all the happiness I stored
and the memories of my past 🙂

I thought you were a breeze
a two month fling and You’ll leave me
but I have never ever been so wrong
You aren’t just a cute girl.. You are a Storm..

You wrecked through everything I was,
everything that was broken was now lost
You made me feel empty
Like I was really missing out on life?
Then… just an idea came to me
to make you mine!

I had no idea what to do at first..
I have been pushing you away all the time
I was afraid that you’ll get hurt by me
and I’ll trample through your innocent soul..
I thought that I never deserved
to be a part of your core 🙂

But the idea was a deadly virus
it spread through my entire being
my smile got wilder,
the tears came back to my eyes
in just a few months of noticing what I like about you
you became my whole life 😛

I had many ideas how to make you mine..
I am not that stupid.. so I had a bunch of plans in line..
should I tell her what she wants to listen??
the answers to her rhetorical questions?
should I just go and ask her to be mine??
bypass the bullshit, and hold her till the ends of time?
should I still try to be difficult and go with the flow?
wait for her to lose patience, and she wants to me in her core?
but I was stupid af, I have always been
I crossed them all out.. and only my bare existence was seen
I dont like love, I dont like expectations at all
It poisons the whole relation,
grudges start budding in the core
I showed my true face, even my jealous was put on the table to see
i also told you, that you wont be binded
even I would be your boyfriend, You will be free
I think it just doesnt work
when I am trying to be me 😀

I think relationships are a cage?
two people are forced inside..
and then someone puts a lock on the door..
looking like we are animals in the zoo of life..
I dont want us to be in the cage..
I want you roam freely in the forests that your life can offer..
I just want to be embrace you when you are in pain..
and push you further when you have failed
to make you just one more time.. to try again..

I want you to be mine
So I can embrace you for life..
I dont want to hold you back, nor be you support
I will be like your supervising officer?
just one who loves you with the ends of his core..

But the decision is still yours,
I have just put myself on the table for all to see
if you dont say yes, I wont have any grudges against you..
But I will have to go away, as there is no free meal..
I couldnt try for you without loving you
and when I fell for you, there is no other path
I couldnt make you anything less than my everything..
and that’s the pain.. only I have felt
I would have to leave your side..
you would find more people in just a short while
so dont miss me or hold me in contempt
I am just hopelessly in love with you..
and I cant be just friends 🙂





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